Lost

I never realised that I've relied on you so much that I've lost my independence.
I'm so afraid. Afraid of going out and having fun with others.
I don't know why.
I can't comprehend the feeling.
Once again I've believed you and once again you destroyed it.
How long is this going to keep up for.
I thought it was easier now, and the pain would be lesser.
But I was wrong.
The pain is still the same, and it's still equally hard.

You said if I really love you I'd be able to wait and trust you.
But if you really love me why aren't you able to stop what you're doing?
No matter how much I love you, you're still hurting me deeply.
I really wonder how much more I'll be able to withstand before I start torturing myself again.
Sure the torturing myself part has stopped.
But I got a feeling it'd be back soon..
Cause tonight, it nearly happened.

I love you. I really do..


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